A Funny Joke

My great uncle used to work on the railroad.  It was his job to prowl up and down the train calling “Tickets please!” in his blue uniform and little cap. He would announce the next stop or throw you out at said stop if you caused a ruckus in the club car. 

He worked on the line every week for fifteen years, and he was a surly bastard.  The “Tickets please!” might be “Tickets!  Tickets now!”  Questions would get a sarcastic answer half, well, most, of the time.  He was lazy and God help you if you lost  your ticket.  He was once suspended for two weeks for assaulting a confused young man who had gotten on the wrong train. 

As a kid I only ever saw him at the odd family gathering where he’d get drunk and complain about how the railroad was going all to shit, his supervisor was an idiot and passengers were a pack of imbeciles who no longer respected the uniform, God help them. 

He was often drunk, even on the job.  They say he was drunk on his last day on the line.  The day when the electrics failed while the train was careening downhill and there was no compressed air for the brakes.  Perhaps it’s because he was drunk that he scrambled out the window and up onto the roof of the carriage, then staggered along the tops of the cars to the engine.

He gripped the collapsed pantograph with both hands.  Witnesses say he gave an almighty heave, although I don’t understand how anybody could see from inside the train, to push it back into contact with the overhead line, although such a thing would surely result in his own fatal electrocution.  But that’s what he did and that’s the day he proved himself a very brave man and a fine conductor.

Australia 2023: Last Days

Here is the final entry to the Australia 2023 trilogy, in which shopping is performed, signs are seen and oysters are eaten.

It’s December 31, 2023. Goodbye 2023, you bastard! Hopefully your brethren will be better. Sachie flies out tomorrow and I go on the second.

That’s Victoria Market. It’s a big tourist draw for its excellent produce but we came to buy tourist tat for the folks back in Siam The Kingdom Thailand. Sachie came along because she heard you can buy a dozen oysters cheap and eat them right in front of the stall-keeper all the while maintaining eye-contact with him. Likes her oysters, she does.

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Dan went down to Georgia: Part III

About two years late but better than never, here is the final chapter of our Georgia triptych. You’ll have to go back a few posts to find parts one and two but I’ll add a callout or something later.

After a big yesterday of driving all over Georgia it was time to head back to Tbilisi and that means another Bolt! trip. We wanted to get a little before leaving so Sachie wanted to go back to the market where there were some exchange booths. But first, breakfast.

That’s at the fancy café around the corner, the serve beer at 10am, if you ask them to. Miss Sachie did so.

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Australia 2024: Zoo & Art

The penultimate bulletin on our 2023/2024 trip to Australia. In this episode we venture to Melbourne Zoo and Point Leo.

Yes, the mighty giraffe. There’s a bunch of them in Melbourne Zoo and they appeared to be in really excellent condition. Very attractive mammals. This post follows a series, being, Australia 2024: Melbs, Australia 2024: Point Lonsdale and Points Beyond and Australia in B&W. All part of the Australia 2023 suite, because I went home for Christmas.

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